Trump is hopping mad about the FBI raid today, especially about his safe.
So let’s speculate on the contents of that safe. What is your best guess of the contents of Donald Trump’s safe? Here is mine:
1) The Pee Tape
2) Incriminating stuff on Graham and McConnell
3) A large quantity of old hamberder wrappers
4) Missing White House silverware
5a and b) Josh Cawley’s testes
Definitely blackmail files on all current Republican officeholders. That's why they're freaking out so bad and calling for Merrick Garland's head.
Blank Non Disclosure Agreement forms?
Here is the most common defense of Trump from his base:
• His abysmal and embarrassing K-12 report cards, SAT scores, and college transcripts
•huge shit list of anyone and everyone who has ever been disloyal
•detachable bone spurs
• sexy love letter to his mother
• unused condoms
•little black book
• covefe
• 1 dozen cans of orange spray tan
• Stormy Daniels Barbie Doll
• extra extra large female panties, bras, and stilettos, size 13
Viagra
Depends
Cases of diet Coke
His new toupee
These shoes (previously worn by Melania on a photo shoot)
Geraldo Rivera should open Trump's vault on live TV.
1) a bunch of nude pictures of a blonde who looks suspiciously like Ivanka.
2) Lauren Boebert’s ultra-secret sex tape.
3) $1,000,000 in unmarked nonsequential bills.
4) a forged diplomatic passport in the name of “John Barron.”
5) a black toupee and a pair of Groucho Marx glasses with nose and mustache.
6) the genitalia of every Republican in the Senate and House of Representatives.
of course, I’m probably completely wrong.
In all seriousness, though, I have a bad feeling we’re going to find out trump was the most damaging de facto spy in the country’s history.