Poem For Those Who Severed Jesus
In the town of Shawnee, there is no joy today
No smiles and no laughter
Because they’ve gone away
Rudely taken from us
Each before their time
Down our cheeks the tears fall
May our pain be left behind
As we know, they’re with God
Gabriel sound your horn
All will surely miss them
Till that day when we’re reborn
So be it, if it is His will.
The FDA is AGAIN warning the public that Ivermectin is NOT an anti-viral.
https://www.newsnationnow.com/health/coronavirus/ivermectin-not-approved-covid-19-treatment-fda/
Song for Mr. Shtupper
Here’s to Mr. Shtupper, crossbow in his hand
No longer will he hunt deer
Nor longer till the land
He caught The Cove, began to wheeze
Before too long he could not breathe
His temp went up, his O2 down
And now he’s down beneath the ground
It can’t be blamed on his bad luck
No, he was just a stupid fuck
For us, it’s just another day
For him, there’s nothing more to say
The Nostril Less Taken
(With apologies to Robert Frost, and none to Lurid Looney)
Two nostrils diverged in an alien face,
And I was curious as to both
Of inquiring mind, there I stood
And looked up one as far as I could
To its terminus at the base of her brain;
Then looked up the other, lined with green goo,
And having perhaps a differing view,
Because it was plugged, in want of tissue;
Though as in want of sneezing spew
They looked to me about the same.
What shall she become in ages hence?
Shall she continue to hate Mike Pence?
And be inseminated by Roger Stone
To bear his demon spawn alone?
Shall she assist in crimes a-heinous?
As press secretary of the Orange Anus?
Shall her chin and her cheekbones
Be recycled into Legos?
Two nostrils diverged in an alien face , and I—
I looked up the one less mucus-y,
And that has made no difference.
LURID LOONEY PLEASE GET OUT
Lurid Looney, please get out
I’m tired of looking up your snout
I don’t care if you can’t taste food
Or that your head is made of wood
Eyebrows drawn with Sharpie pen
Must never spoil my lunch again
Nor evil pout, like MAGAt trout
Lurid Looney, please get out!
Tell Laura I love Her
Laura and Abdul were lovers
He wanted to give her everything
Camos, rifles, and most of all, a wedding ring
He saw a sign for a golf contest
At the nearest Trump golf shithole
He couldn't get Laura on the phone, to wit:
She was on her iPad, posting shit
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura and Karl Rove
To get the shot, and not the Cove
He toots his car to the golfing grounds
He was the fattest MAGAt there
And the crowed roared as they started to swing
Down the fairway they drove with a deadly fling
No one knows what made him die
If flying ketchup got in his eye
But as they pulled him from Ivanka’s grave
With his dying breath, they heard him say
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to moan
Though I’ll roast in hell with Roger Stone
On social media where Laura complains
’Bout Abdul who done passed away
It was just for Trump he lived and died
Alone at Log O Mierda she can hear him cry
Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her
Tell Laura not to wait
That orange tub of goo will meet his fate
Tell Laura I love her
Tell Laura I love her
Tell Laura I love her
GROWING SEASON 2
Ball cap, covid neck, immunosuppressed
Cootie catcher goatee, you know the rest
With all those comorbidities, he didn’t stand a chance
Now he’s an endless salad bar for worms and little ants
Self immolation has become an art
If they do themselves in, couldn’t say I give a fart
More O2 for me, and less wasted on you
As another swing state turns a little more blue
Growing Season
In the land of eternal snow
Lived a man who Covid laid low
Wouldn’t take him no shot
Then proceeded to rot
And only the worms did Grow
LANDO ELIJAH
Lando Elijah
What's it like where you’re reposing?
You are six feet under
And you’re slowly decomposing
Yes, you are
I guess you’ve detailed your last car
Worst move by far
Oh, it's what you did to you
Oh, it's what you did to you
Oh, it's what you did to you
Oh, it's what you did to you
What you did to you….
Dead Not Alive
It's fresh meat, only the names will change
Every day, it seems they’re wastin' away
Mostly red states, and their bodies are so cold
Posted stupid memes but now they’re not so bold
He’s a dipshit
On a hospital bed he died
And now he’s….dead not alive
Now he’s….dead not alive
Six Feet Under Sudbury
Zombies like to eat gray matter
In this guy’s case thar’s an empty platter
Dumbass should have had more sense
But he didn’t, so now he’s in the past tense
Please get the shot so you don’t go forth
like this foolish idjit from the great white North
YAKELY YAK
Just quit a-posting all those memes
I’m onto your Antiva schemes
If you had took one little shot
You wouldn’t be put underground to rot
Yakely yak (yer on crack)
She Finally FAFOed
Been wondering when this foolish one would meet her sorry fate
This will be a short one, cause I’m tired and it’s late
So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn and also sayonara
The worms convey their gratitude for your MAGAt marinara
Mandibular Pendejo
I’ve written my memorial poems
for MAGATs bad and worse
I’ve pointed out their foolish ways
with ridiculing verse
We’ve seen them all, and seen them fall
with thought processes weird
But till this day I’ve never done
A poem for a beard!
Mandibular pendejo ain’t the way to go
If you want to avoid triage
Safer by far to be shaven clean
and not grow a cootie garage
for the virus will say “Ooh, we like that!”
and inhabit your cootie habitat
Next thing you knows, your immune system went
and the cooties still live in your beard, without rent
So don’t be an idjit and don’t be an ass
And shave that face just as smooth as glass
Fonergoner
Pandemic and Covid comin'
Ain’t getting that vaccine, no
I hear ventilator hummin’'
One dead in Ohio
O2 is down now
Spike protein cutting us down
Let’s turn up his oxygen flow
What if you knew he was
Dumb as a box of rocks?
“Where’d my fuckin’ horse paste go?”
Na na-na-na, na-na na-na
Na na-na-na, na-na na
Na na-na-na, na-na na-na
Na na-na-na, na-na na
Saturation
I can't get O2 saturation
I can't get O2 saturation
'Cause I cough, and I cough, and I cough, and I cough
I can't get no, I can't get no
When I'm on my Farcebook
And my friends come on my feed
They’re telling me more and more
About some vaxxing information true
Supposed to keep me from turning blue
I can't get no, oh, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey
That's what I say
I can't get O2 saturation
I can't get no oxygenation
'Cause I cough, and I cough, and I cough, and I cough
I can't get no, I can't get no
Well I’m in my bullshit world
And I’m posting this and lyin’ bout that
And I’m tryin’ to make some girl
She says “Baby better come back, maybe next week,
I got Covid clots in both my feet”
Ree-deep (He croaked)
Angry Dick from the Florida Sticks
Angry white guy full of rage
Another meme, another page
Drink too much? Was mom craycray?
Was your brain just naturally made that way?
Spouse’s O2, downward rampin’
You thought it best to keep on campin’
Her face turned blue, her tongue turned red
Went into hospice and came out dead
Did you miss her? Probably
But you failed to connect points a and b:
If she got the shot, she’d still have life
And you’d not be looking for another wife
A Gaggle of Idiots
A gaggle of idiots gathered to pray
They badgered the Lord just to get their own way
Did it make any difference? I don’t think so
She’s still on the O2, highest rate flow
I never thought it would ever come to this
They take ivermectin, they drink their own piss
Don’t forget zinc and vitamins too
All that won’t stop the Cove from coming for you
My heart’s long been hardened, I no longer care
If they shit in the bed and they struggle for air
This may sound cruel, but I think it is true:
The world is a much saner place without you
Stick an American Fork in Her, Cause She is Done....
Laid low by a viral varmint
Though she wore her temple garment
Didn’t help her, not one bit
Stuck in a hospital, sick as shit
Near shuffled off her mortal coil
In spite of the anointing oil
Root cause of this awful mess?
She overdosed on LDS
Another Caustic Acrostic
Found out after effin around
After a necrofeline rebound
For life can turn to shit in a flash
Oh, your wife will be spending
Much Go Fraud Me cash
And you won’t know, cause yer
Gonna be below
An acrostic for you, Mr. Blue
Weekend at Bernie’s, Strapped to a Gurney
He looks like heck with a hole in his neck
But damn, he owned them lib’ruls!
Can barely talk, barely walk
But damn, he owned them lib’ruls!
Not much left but bones and skin
Bedsores to fit a dead cat in
Does he rue donning his hat of tin?
Hell no, he owned them lib’ruls!
I know I did a parody of Streets of Laredo not long ago, but I think that this Texas dolt is calling out for another one.
Streets of Jerusalem
As I walked out on the streets of Jerusalem
As I walked out in Jerusalem today
I spied a young idjit whose head was a-severed
Head was a-severed, he’d been there three days
“I see by your outfit that you are a ninja
And viral biologist, and a doctor to boot.
So who could defeat such a mightier life form? Who laid you to ground like a piece of horse poop?”
”Last I remember, I was in the dojo
dealing punches and kicks by the score.
The bike rack from hell started coming right at me
Next thing I knew, I was dead on the floor.
Then I woke up here, beaten and headless
I’ve had me three days for to give it some thought
Maybe I shouldn’t have been such a dumbass
Maybe I should have got that Fauci shot.”
Billy Was Not Special
He fantasized of dying within the holy city
Instead it was in Texas, it truly was a pity
There wouldn’t be a Herod, cruel as the Roman habit
Instead, the people rent their clothes and loudly cried “Hey Abbott!”
He didn’t go to heaven, and neither went to hell
He didn’t lie there for three days (we couldn’t have stood the smell)
He wasn’t separated from his corpus cavernosa
Nor noggin used for tenpins on the Via Dolorosa
But in his mind this would have been the greatest tragedy:
Billy wasn’t special, he was just like you and me
Billy The C
We remember Billy the C
And his Antivaxxer glee
Metal sharp things he would fight
Everybody Wing Chun tonight
He thought he knew where he’d be dead
Hasidim avoiding his severed head
He really bought that prophecy biz
But the Covid took him, and that’s all there is.:.,
Pareidolia
Little People of the forest, Sasquatches so furry
I try to take your portrait, but it always comes out blurry
So many times I’ve tried to show your visages of wonder
I never get a single thing but photographic blunder
I tried and tried and tried again, no ifs ands or buts
I guess you’re very camera shy, or possibly I’m nuts
Sam and the Sasquatch
That dubious day when she went to the woods
Sasquatch saw her and stared at the goods
Samantha did well to escape her fate
(She was lucky he wasn’t looking for a mate)
For he came to send her this telepathic thought:
”Go, ya dumbass, and get the damn shot”!
But she did not heed what Sasquatch had told her
Got sick, turned blue, kept getting colder
Now things aren’t the same in the woods tonight
Aliens search for her without re-spite
Now the little people mourn and Sasquatch is lazy
And the bats have all gone Samantha shit crazy
HCAman (Parody lyrics to the tune of Mr. Sandman)
HCAman, give us fresh meat
This one’s begun to smell like old dirty feet
Give us a MAGAt with some memes aplenty
One from a swing state would be heaven sent-y!
HCAman, give us fresh meat
Fat neck and covid beard would be really neat
With self delusion, mental masturbation
Maybe a clot or two and amp-u-tation
HCAman, give us fresh meat
The ones who thought The Cove was easily beat
The kind who makes our hearts to pump
And don’t forget that COMMENT JUMP
HCAman, give us fresh meat!
Poor Steve Nuttery
Poor Steve Nuttery
Brain smooth and buttery
How does your viral load grow?
With meme attacks and made up “facts”
And dead MAGAts all in a row
Steve Netherorifice
Steve Netherorifice
Looked like a poropoise
Except that a porpoise is smart
Lived in Kentucky
Got unlucky
Can’t say I give a fart
Now there’s one less Trumper
One less sheep humper
I’ll put it in simple terms
He’s now in a box
Under the rocks
Serving as food for the worms
So Nutty I Can’t Think Of A Proper Title
I see that you are dead and gone
Your friends have held your wake
Of all the dipshits I have seen
You surely take the cake
Believed in everything that’s wrong
Believed with all your might
That Elvis is alive on Mars
Believed that day is night
Aliens built the pyramids
and when they finished that
they gave a gift to Schroedinger,
a dually stated cat
That Bill Gates has it in for us
and everyone should know
He personally put nanobutts
Into our morning joe
I guess it turned out all for naught
when you get down to it
You fucked around and then found out
and now you’re dead as shit
Dep’ty Jones
In a bad place
Holes in your face
Dep’ty Jones you better watch your memes
Put some horsepaste
Up your behind
Take some ivermectin, you’ll feel fine
Improved and expanded version
Streets of ArLINGton
As I walked out in the streets of ArLINGton
As I walked out in ArLINGton one day
I spied a young sheriff all ravaged by Covid
With an adipose neck, and a goatee like hay
I said “Holy shit, now what has happened to you? You poor bastard, how did you end up this way?”
He said “They wouldn’t give me Ivermectin
though my family sued just to get our own way”
Those who loved him the most knew that his ass was toast
The poor fornicator just could not be saved
Now only Guv Abbott and the lone hopping rabbit
Trods o’er his bones and mourns at his grave
No more worldly toils nor essential oils
A light up his asshole will have no effect
Too late I do think for hydroxy and zinc
For he’s a dead MAGAt and his body’s a wreck
So beat the drum glumly as they start a Go Fund Me
Get six antivaxxers to carry his box
And divvy the loot as the worms eat his snoot
For he’s in the ground from that old Wuhan pox
Streets of ArLINGton
As I walked out in the streets of ArLINGton
As I walked out in ArLINGton one day
I spied a young sheriff all ravaged by Covid
With an adipose neck, and a goatee like hay
I said “Holy shit, now what has happened to him? How did the poor bastard end up this way?”
Someone said “They wouldn’t give him the ‘Mectin
though the family sued just to get their own way”
Those who loved him the most knew that his ass was toast
A maternal fornicator who could not be saved
Now only Guv Abbott and the occasional rabbit
Trods o’er his bones and mourns at his grave
A MAGAt of some small renown
Fucketh around and then found
that due to his blunder
he may be six feet under
with no necrofeline rebound
Ode To A Buckeye Magamoron
He has a dog whose name is Jim
That’s the only good I can say about him
Cardiac output is down a hair
He needs a stent or two in there
He meets all things with a meme and a pout
He fucked around, now he’s finding out
Ohio is turning a bit more blue
Come to think of it fucker, so are you
Lone Star Whack Job
Nurse Alu, who are you?
Related to Matty, Felipe, Jesus?
What happened to make your thoughts as loose
as diarrhea from a goose?
I know you’re very sad
But nobody murdered your dad
The doctors and nurses tried all they knew
to keep his face from turning blue
But in the end a covid clot
Caused his leg to get cold and rot
The eleventh hour, the nursing crew,
and the guy with the saw said “I saw you”
So let’s separate the wheat from chaff
And please don’t accuse the good hospital staff
Ballad of a Stubborn Missouri Mule
Mary Jennie the Dotard
Was a Trump supporting blowhard
But it’s Covid, for the win
Over Ernest Borgnine’s twin
Things got hairy
That’s when Mary
Left her mortal skin
Biting The Big Chimichanga
No one cares if you don’t get the vax
or take Ivermectin, shine a light up your ass,
post your memes, moan and whine,
or mainline Hydroxychloroquine
We’re indifferent to what happens to you nuts
But you’ll no longer vote, and that’s a great big plus.
Another Stubborn Idjit
She did MLM, and you might think it’s funny
For the uninformed, that stands for “Moms Losing Money”
She mocked that ol’ virus then at once it was on her
One look at her necks and I knew she was goner
She scammed and she grifted with some magic powder
(Fights Cove ‘bout as well as Manhattan clam chowder)
Now, do you eat it or smoke it like grass?
Or have a friend blow it afar up your ass?
Do you take it in summer or winter or fall
or snort it like Trump does with his adderall?
It’s a mystery, and I guess I must wonder
And Chris can’t answer…..
Cause she’s six feet under
Saturday Ruminations on A Nutbrain
Her thoughts are as twisted
as the arms of a squid
Did the vax kill her loved ones?
No, stupidity did
She still blames health workers
for her husband and mother
Must be Doc Fauci, and could be no other
Stubborn, hardheaded, defiantly bold
then one day in the morning they ended up cold
Three years of this bullshit has hardened my heart
Two less in a swing state seems a pretty good start
So what is the lesson from this antivax lout?
We should not eff around
lest we find out
FLORIDA MAN FAFOES BIGLY
Your story and carcass, beginning to rot,
are starting to smell like those fish that you caught
Six days at the top are sufficient for you
So begone, let your guts become putrified goo
Democracy’s stronger without your ass here
and the scaled and gilled critters live in less fear
You took on The Cove, but it wouldn’t be beat
So how ‘bout it, webmaster? We need some fresh meat!
Maybe somehow worms will feast on him, then those worms will be used to feed fish. It would be one of those touching circle of life moments.
THE TENNESSEE MAGAt
Bang the drum slowly
One more gone away
No more will this “pastor”
Lead his flock astray
Though you didn’t get it, I find it quite odd
that you twisted the words of the Lamb of God
You were hate filled and spiteful right to the finito
Now you’re under the soil, like a MAGAt burrito
Taren from McTurtleland
Just sit right back while I tell the story
of Taren from the Bluegrass state
Selling peg games, serving dumplings
Life was good till she met her fate
She agreed that the Cove was real
and that it could pulverize you
But she swallowed the line that the vax was bad
and a mask would put you in the ICU
She feared the effects, ten years from now
if she took the Fauci Ouchie
Now she’s food for bugs while I write bad rhymes
from my Caribbean couchy
So down at the Barrel of Crackers
The crackers spend their cash,
sit in rockers, and play checkers
And the cook still slings the hash
But gullible Taren knows none of this,
and can’t realize her blunder
Green grow the lilacs, blue grows the grass
with Taren six feet under
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Humpty Dumpty in Kentumpty
Humpty Dumpty had a neckbeard
Then one day he felt sickly and weird
Gridiron tactics couldn’t win James this battle
For the X‘s and O’s faded to a death rattle
Does he somewhere reflect on his football glory?
If a bass boat’s involved, it would complete the story
Soon he was under the soil six feet
But his wife quickly found her a new Humpty sweet
He Took One For The Team
Covid cootie catcher
Rolls of neckly fat
Might have worn a red hat too
But I’m not sure of that
Taught health but learned nothing
Covid took his life
Another guy who is his clone
Now plows his widowed wife
Delmar Dawn
Delmar Dawn, what’s that mask you ain’t got on
Could it be the kind that stops the Wuhan Flu?
It took your hubby Rob
That cheatin’ preachin’ knob
Look out, it may be comin’ for you too
Dear Ms. Biester
Dear Ms. Biester
Is kicking life’s Keister
She’s got her priorities right
Said “Now that Rob’s buried
it’s high time I’ve hurried
to find a new bear to hold tight”
Her former guy, Rob
was a goateed slob
who wielded the sword of the Lord
Thought he could beat it but soon was defeated, and
instead got his Herman Cain Award
Hardheaded Robert
Hardheaded Robert was stubborn as hell
”Ain’t gettin’ no shot, for my prayer serves me well!”
Was he testing The Lord? I’ll let you judge
Though he sure wasn’t helped by that beard and neck pudge
Now, he doesn’t seem to have been a bad sort
Not as hateful and mean as our usual cohort
When he sickened he could have gone straight to a pew
But instead coughed his way to the ol’ ICU
Where good doctors and nurses tried all that they could
But when O2 reached 80, they knew where he stood
They said “Dawn, we’re sorry, we’ve done all we can
so you‘d best start looking for another man”
So Dawn got jiggy with a brand new dude
And they placed dear Robert in a box made of wood
They they buried his carcass, in a Christian tradition
Now the worms look to Robert to get their nutrition
Larry Keller, Conspiracy Spreader
Larry Keller, conspiracy spreader
Maybe he’ll live, or maybe be deader
Than a doornail or that trout he caught
And when he’s gone, he’ll count for naught
For the Keystone State is turning blue
Poor Doug Masturbano won’t know what to do
He’ll try to turn things much much redder
Without Larry Keller, conspiracy spreader
Elegy for a Louisiana Native
Waylon made it his life’s mission
Of posting shit, and goin‘ fishin’
with faithful Wanda by his side
till Covid took his redneck hide At super speed, she buried him
And his replacement moved right in
With goatee, hat and his bass boat
There’s no more to write, so that’s all I wrote
Except that I thought she might be sadder
But she’s now climbing Jacob’s ladder.
Farewell Lisa
Farewell Lisa, woman of rancor
So deeply in love
with your own anger
Your time is done
Your spirit is free
I‘m sure someone will miss you
But it won’t be me
So Long Diamond
Can’t spread damaging disinformation
Nor engage in mental masturbation
Will you be haunted, wherever you’ve gone
by the people you lied to and caused so much harm?
Now there’s one less blabbing right wing hero
And my givafukometer is sitting on zero
TRIBUTE TO VAXXYLADY
Goodbye, Vaxxylady
Though I never knew you at all
You kindly gave to us
Lots of good fresh meat
They crawled from under rocks
And they sickened and some died
For want of a little shot
And we got out daily treat
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a webstress in the wind
Never quite sure who to include
When the names came in
And I’d really like to thank you
For all you did
I guess you burned out long before
The epidemic did
Written from my home in exile…..
Dr. Gold and Her Lies
Simone’s been with us ten days
and smells like horseshit pie
That’s quite a great accomplishment
Considering she didn’t die
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Vaxxylady, we must have fresh meat!
I Don’t Give a Fick
She posted falsely lying memes
I hope no one believed it
“Vaccine bad, virus hoax”
Tried to make us see it
May her license be revoked
What kind of nonsense has she toked?
A “healer“ made the MAGAts sick
But I no longer give a Fick
Fritz The Dead Cat
Fritz sez “I’m tough”
But he was only faking it
Dead red in a swing state?
Hell yeah, we’re surely taking it!
From the frozen Northern boundary
To the shores of Mag a Lardo
They’re falling like the autumn leaves
The backdrop is a rainbow
A couple hundred every day
It all accrues, I’m sure
If MAGAtry is our disease
Then Covid is the cure
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Miss Conception 1980
Antivaxxer, political rifter
Angry nutbrain, High Plains Grifter
Beauty queen, way back when
Now you’re filtered, and filtered again
Harry got Cove and damn near died
And you vowed vengeance on Qeteb’s hide
For causing sickness with evil thought
Now, wouldn’t it be easier to just get the shot?
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The Significant Other
It was only four months after Eric passed away
His “significant other” let no moss grow under her va-jay-jay
Got married to another guy with facial hair and hat
Tossed Eric’s shit into the dumpster
And by golly, that was that.
I feel very badly for this family. The “significant other” behaved terribly. A family tragedy brings out the worst in some and the best in others.
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Joanne’s Nightmare
Joanne has this singular thought:
”Stick by your guns, don’t get the shot”
It’s the vaxxed, who are doing the dyin’
And it isn’t for the lack of trying
That evil Dr. Fauci hasn’t controlled your thoughts
With those pesky nanobots
They’ll take over yer brain in no time flat
You’ll turn into a Godless Democrat
And when they’re finished doing that
You’ll quickly morph into a Lesbian cat
Your skin will turn dark, then chillingly
You’ll turn in your guns, and willingly
Then when Mary Kay sees that your skin is black
She’ll make sure you don’t get that pink Cadillac
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Paula is Gone, And All I Got Was A Poorly And Hastily Composed Acrostic Poem
So around she effed
And out she found
Yes Paula had her
Big necrofeline rebound
Yikes, time‘s run out!
Ew, now she’s gone!
Pee on both her
And traitor Don
Underground she now feeds the worms
Like a habitat for bugs and other verms
And we’re still here to keep up the fight
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“Pastor” Greg
“Pastor“ Greg from Pigeon Forge
Seeks out rubes, his greed to gorge
He spreads around destructive lies
And only idjits heed him
I’m pretty sure that Satan’s rootin’
for this raving, hideous tool of Putin
Who causes pain and needless loss
And all the sorrow feeds him
I have a number of actual pastors in my family, all of whom are far, far better human beings than this sorry evil piece of human wreckage. That is why I put pastor in quotes. His religion bears the same relationship to the actual teachings of Christ that the WWE bears to Olympic wrestling. There are a few similarities, but it just ain’t.
Anyway, if you like my poetry (“Pastor” Greg won’), please hit the donate button to support this site.
BOUND FOR GLORY
Now, what can be said about Glory?
For one thing, her brain is a pity
For another, her pix have more filters
Than the water supply of a city
Prognosis is rough
To survive will be tough
With O2 and misting
Many medicines listing
Many a pill
Will be on her next bill
And who knows, by heck
a Glory hole in her neck?
Now, does she ever find
In her Antiva mind
Does she ever have thought
“Shoulda got me that shot”?
Does she ever admit
that she should have got it?
I doubt it, cause she is DUMBER THAN SHIT!
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FARTCUTTER
Rick Fartcutter spews Antiva memes
He posts them one and all
Fires bullshit like a howitzer
To stick it to the wall
Flat Earth, mask mirth, raise yer CO2
If any fool believed him
They’d not know what to do
The stupid and the gullible
Are dropping like dead flies
Each and every week now
A bunch of halfwits die
And I, who’s taken every vax
And stayed away from people
Chuckle and drink coffee
As I toast the croaking sheeple
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CHAD THE HARDHEAD
Chad, you’re a hardhead, through and through
and it’s hard to write a poem for you
Your stubbornness has cost you years
Over unnecessary vaccine fears
You’re just 38, yet over the hill
But it’s a free country, so do as you will
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Dianna
We’re all sane and you're so scary
Seeing commies everywhery
Every day your hatred stokes
for Jews and blacks and foreign folks
I can’t read your words of wit
‘cause you’re nutty as squirrel shit
Oh, please, go away, Dianna
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KOOKABABBLER
Kookababbler fell from the old dumb tree,
Merry merry queen of the tush is she.
Laugh, Kookababbler, laugh, Kookababbler,
Cray your life must be!
Kookababbler fell from the old dumb tree
Believing all the bullshit she can read
Stop, Kookababbler, Stop, Kookababbler
Please stop posting memes
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Halloween in Vermont
Now, Craftsbury Commons is a quiet town
But if you’re ever there you better look around
There’s UFOs and weirdos and a that ain’t all
There might even be a clone of Beatle Paul
But if you see one critter you would wish you’re gone
And the name of that critter is Transquatch John
Now it lives in a trailer just over the hill
With a smell like Steve Bannon in a paper mill
It’s got a visage that could frighten us
With a beard where you could hide a Greyhound Bus
Weighs prolly upwards of 325
He’ll be plenty of food to keep the worms alive
Now if you’re out some evening and see Transquatch John
Here’s some advice you should rely upon
Turn and git and go away
Run like the dickens and don’t delay
Cause if you don’t you’re in deep doo doo
Transquatch John is gonna capture you!
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Elegy For A Vermont Nutbrain
John Courchaine, you’re quite insane
with the usual antivax memes
But what sets you apart
Right from the start
Is ambitious political schemes
Now, whatever your gender
Or if you’re on a bender
Or you’re lacking in physical fitness
How you get your salary
Or if you are Mallory
It really ain’t none of my bidness
But please take advice
(I’m trying to be nice)
Seeing as you’re in a fragile state
Don’t go it alone
Pick up the phone
And get help before it’s too late
You’re not thinking clearly
Your issues abound
You feel there are aliens lurking around
I find that unlikely
And quite a bit weird
Though admittedly some might be hid in your beard
So get the shot, shave the beard, lose 80 pounds
And in five or six years
You may still be around.
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FRESH MEAT
Vaxman Vaxman, please be quick
Post an idjit who got sick
from The Cove so needlessly
and took no warnings, heedlessly
Only an early morning treat
Will satisfy our lust for ——-
FRESH MEAT!
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Texas Doodle
Rocky Gaitan lost his life
Lost it for no reason
Wouldn’t get the Covid shot
Though it was Covid season
Rocky Gaitan kept it up
Wouldn’t take the Pfizer
Now he’s six feet in the ground
Becoming fertilizer
Rocky Gaitan bought the lie
Heeded Candace Owens
If he’d heeded Dr. Fauch
No dirt would they be throwin
Rocky Gaitan was a MAGAt
right wing masturbator
Stuck a mask upon his face
Hooked to a ventilator
Rocky Gaitan was so foolish
brains of Texas red rocks
If he took one little shot
He‘s not be in a pine box
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If I Had Died at H.Scott’s Age
If I had died at H.Scott’s age
How much I would have missed!
At 45, climbed the Eiffel Tower
Held my wife and kissed
Our son was just a child back then
We watched him learn life’s lessons
I’ve seen him grow to be a man
And find his own profession
Flown aircraft over green green hills
Each time I got the notion
Dived face to snout with leathery sharks
In a Caribbean ocean
I’ve played guitar and sung my songs
For multitudes of people
Scott, if you knew the life I’ve had
You wouldn’t call me “sheeple”.
Forty years still by my side
as husband and my wife
If there’s a G-d he has seen fit
To give me a wonderful life
I write my life as if a novel
I savor every page
But it would lie on shelf, unread
If I died at H. Scott’s age
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Another Texas Idjit
Ol’ H. Scott was an antivax snot
A hater through and through
Hated libs and hated dems
And LGBTQ
His hate continued to grow and grow
Until he caught The Cove and so,
suddenly Texas was one more voter blue
For H. I have the coldest heart
and really do not give a fart
but for his son I’m feeling sad
For he’ll grow up without his dad
So look at the reward Scott got
for not getting a simple shot
Yes, ol’ H. Scott was an antivax snot
A hater through and through
Hated libs and hated dems
But now his days are through
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I have mixed feelings about doing a poem for Yolanda. She doesn’t seem so evil and hateful, like so many on this site are. She just seems very easily led. If she were in a room with a bunch of vaxxers for a short time, she’d probably become one. I have known some people like that, who have the thoughts and opinions of whoever talked to them ten minutes previously. Anyway, here goes…..
Flat Earth and Flat Head
A woman, flat earther Yolanda
Had a mind that was way up yonda
Her life was quite nice
Till she caught The Cove - twice!
And tiny bug gears she continued to ponda
Perhaps not my best work, but as I said, I am ambivalent about this one.
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Florida Man
Florida Man, world’s worst superhero
Has an IQ of Absolute Zero
As he found out when the Covid hit him
His superpower wasn’t his immune system
At 37, way too young
He breathed his last and he was done
So never pay heed to right wing hate
Or you too may suffer his horrible fate.
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Tippytoe
Damon Tippytoe in the land of DeSantis
Was 15 years in the cooler
It must have driven him over the edge,
he became a right wing drooler
Posted all the Antiva memes
We’ve seen them all before
About Fauci and Ouchies and magnetic people
And not to give in and be like the sheeple
Solitary must have gone to his head
But I won’t say more, mustn’t insult the dead.
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Quincy Diner
O where will I get my eggs and ham?
Not at the Quincy Diner
Since John got him the Cove and died
And they had that kitchen fire
Should have ignored his own BS
And all those memes he spouted
And not breathed in the virus deep
When mask rules he a-flouted
Now, after one has been misled
It’s wrong to mislead others
Lest karma bite us on the ass
And free us from all bothers
Please hit the donate button. Stay safe and vote in November.
The Heart -Worming Story
Oh what a heart-worming story
I knew it right from the start
The reason I say it’s heart-worming is that
The worms are now eating your heart.
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Cold as The Clay
Ya dumbass now yer dead n’ gone
I guess there ain’t much more to say
But if you were so much smarter than us
Then hows come yer cold as the Clay?
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Susan The Stupid Husband Killer
Susan, keep up your good work
Keep the lies a-flowing
You’re killing off the Trumpanzees
Without you even knowing
You‘re spreading every stupid lie
It’s all misinformation
And some day when your work is done
We’ll have a stronger nation
Anyone feel badly for the poor kid who was in a “comma”? I once knew a girl who was in a period for five days, so I guess unfortunate stuff happens to us all.
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This is going to be a challenge. At first I thought the husbands were all the same person, that he was a trigomist, and that after he died all three widows quickly found new husbands. Apparently they were three distinct people, they just had similar comorbidities (goatee, ball cap, stubbornness, stupidity)
I will try to keep them all straight. A scorecard would be handy. I will be editing and adding to this as I go. A Poem For Three Widows
April had a fivehead
Rickey had a beard
Wouldn’t take the vax and croaked
That’s when it all got weird
She posted that she missed him
And that she couldn’t bear it
But quickly found a new love, Mike,
And couldn’t wait to share it
Kayla’s husband, good ol’ Tim
(I think I’ve got that right)
Went unvaxxed and died like Rick
Though he put up a fight
And after a suitable mourning time
(at least a week or so)
Kayla found room in her life
For Kiefer, her new beau
Sabrina has a darker tale
The story’s mighty rough
Michael thought about the vax
But didn’t think enough
He caught The Cove and then he died
Her new boyfriend moved in
Drove around in Michael’s car
That’s where the fun begins
Disrespected Michael’s mom
And sold his shit on eBay
Don’t know who watched all the kids
while they rolled in the hay
And he (I don’t exaggerate)
Hosed in on her and nailed her
And desecrated all the walls
Of Michael’s former trailer
Now let this be a lesson
Men, you may be embraceable
But before your body’s all cooled off
You’ll find you are replaceable
This was exhausting!
Wayne The Train from the Coastal Plain
Wayne the Train shall shag no more
Covid showed him heaven’s door
Worms feast upon him, nose to feet
He’s had 4000 comments, so…..HOW ’BOUT SOME FRESH MEAT?
Danielle and her Squatch
Sasquatch is real!
There’s proof he’s no phony
Danielle lured him to Frank’s
With a trail of pepperoni!
Wayne’s Wonky Wig of Weirdness
Wayne, oh Wayne, where have you gone?
Are you somewhere shagging in the great beyond?
Hope your worries are small and your happiness big
Most of all, I hope you got a much better wig
It looks like the hair from a wallaby’s butt
Or maybe the husk of a coconut
Did it get laundered or did it get cut?
O eternal mystery, mankind’s knowledge is shut.
Did they bury it with you so you weren’t so lonely?
Or put it to rest in its own ceremony?
Did they burn it or bronze it or feed it to cows?
It looked far more threadbare than the law should allow.
If you get a chuckle from my poetry, please hit the donate button to support this site. And if you feel the need to wear a wig, please promise toupee more for it than Wayne probably did.
Haiku for a Shagger
Wayne was once alive
Caught the ol’ Cove, then he died
There was hell toupee
Shagnasty Wayne
Shagnasty Wayne reveled in idiocy
Lived him down South, in the Covideracy
Fountains of Wayne filled up his lungs
Now there’s no more shagging, but for worms on his tongue
If you enjoy my poetry, please hit the donate button to support this site. It performs a public service by allowing us a good shake of the head at these fools who remove themselves from the voter rolls by the hundreds daily. Please have an enjoyable shag in memory of Wayne.
Danielle the Dastardly Dumdum
Now Danielle, let me get this straight
You believe in Bigfoot and Fairies
Well, the epidemic is a coal mine
And all you Antiva, canaries
You’re useless as shit
Annoying as hell
And dumb as an old dumbwaiter
You’re the reason that in a few years
We’ll need instructions on toilet paper
If you enjoy my poetry, please click the donate button. And don’t be as idiotic as Danielle.
The Bones of Jones
Here lie the bones
of Danielle Jones
a Antivaxxer loon
Responsible for an outbreak
Of Covid in the wild raccoon
Sees Sasquatch in the briar patch
Hebrew letters in the sky
When she finally sickens and croaks
Will anyone wonder why?
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The Friday Disappointment
Vaxman, I am disappointed
Thought Laura Looney fresh anointed
With spikey proteins cruising round her softened addled brain
So this is nothing new
She survived the Covid stew
But newer variants Loom to test immunity again.
If you enjoy my poetry, please hit the donate button to support this site. P.S., pee on Laura Looney.
Cindee’s World
Cindee lives in her own little world
A world of demons and sin
Where vaccines are bad and horse paste is good
And hospitals do us in
Where she tried to save Rick, but he up and died
And he flew away, angels by his side
Rick’s in heaven now, and he feels no pain
Playing cards with Doug Kuzma and Herman Cain
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Git Along Home Cindee
Crazy, duped, and batshit crazy
Intellectually lazy
Took Rick to the ICU
Bitched about the care they do
She moaned, complained, and moaned some more
Then pushed ol’ Rick right out the door
She got him home, he croaked, you see
Now he’s on Satan’s rotisserie
Being poked with shards of glass
In his antivaxxer ass
What of Cindee, left behind
With what little she had for a mind?
She’s using every mental trick
To convince herself that she didn’t kill Rick.
Hit the donate button if you are entertained by my poetry. It is available to read on the Forum.
Myron’s Mysogynistic Mymes
Myron sure loved titties
Displayed them on a shelf
In fact he liked them oh so much
He grew a pair himself
I admit I like them too
They’re wonderful to see
Though you won’t find me posting
Misogynistic memes
But now it doesn’t matter
His earthly race is run
Myron’s six feet under
And tittle time is done
Keeping Abreast of Things
Myron‘s in the Pa soil
No longer will he have to toil
He and his spouse both got them The Cove
(If only it would visit Karl Rove!)
He had a beard and Covid neck
and also drove a truck, by heck!
There’s one more possible co-morbidity
He was obsessed with the human “tittie”
He made it clear that he loved them, and how!
But there ain’t none to look at where Myron is now
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Georgia Drew
Georgia Drew was 45
Caught the Cove and ain’t alive
Gabriel’s trumpet sounds a note
Herschel Walker has one less vote
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Deaded Drew
News flash, Drew’s dead
So let’s roll the tape
He reached in the fruit bowl
But took the wrong grape ☠️ 🍇
Shoulda got him the vax
But he was hardheaded
Got him the Cove
And soon he was deaded
Mr. Huizenga
A word in remembrance of Mr. Huizenga
He enjoyed his life, until Cove said “Bazinga”
Not as mean nor as vicious as our usual dunder
But the Cove didn’t care, so he’s six feet under
If you enjoy my poetry, please look at my collected works in the Forum, and hit the donate button to support this website.
Chris’s Farm
I ain't gonna work on Chris’s Farm, no more
No, I ain't gonna work on Chris’s Farm, no more
Well, I don’t wake up each morning, no longer feel no pain
I would not take the vaccine, I think that it’s insane
It's a shame... the way Cove rots you To the core
I ain't gonna work on, nah I ain't gonna work on Chris’s Farm, no more
I ain't gonna work for Chris’s horse, no more Nah,
I ain't gonna work for Chris’s horse, no more
Well, he hands you a shovel, and says “shovel this”
And I couldn’t even cure myself by drinking my own piss
Then they put me in a box and slammed the door
I ain't gonna work for Chris’s horse no more
The Needless and Pointless Death of Cindy
Cindy’s profile pic shows a horse at play
It should have been facing round the other way
T’was a needless and pointless death, alas
All because she was an Antiva horse’s ass
Green Lungshit
In the ICU is where I be
Couldn’t cure the Cove by drinking pee
Tried ivermectin and it would not dooooo
Keep your vax, just gimme that old O2
(Badum Badumdum) Toes blue
(Badum Badumdum) Nose too
(Badum Badumdum) Blood clot
(Badum Badumdum) Kidneys shot
The Cove took his wife
And maybe his life
Green Lungshit we are theeeeeere!
JOHN TRAD GOT COVID BAD
John Trad got Covid bad
Wiped out his kidney function
Shoulda got Pope Don to give
Extreme MAGAt unction
John Trad is one dead lad
If it’s to be believed
He bought the farm, but no sore arm
And his wife sure seems relieved.
Ernesto At Pesto
His thoughts are strange, logic weird
Covid neck, covid beard
What’s that coming? Look ahead!
Ooops, too late, Russell’s dead.
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Russell Ruiz of corpulent face
Tried to outrun The Cove, but lost the race
He blustered and memed, he raged and thundered
And where did it get him? Six feet under.