The Collected Poetry of Ivan Mectin

The FDA is AGAIN warning the public that Ivermectin is NOT an anti-viral.

https://www.newsnationnow.com/health/coronavirus/ivermectin-not-approved-covid-19-treatment-fda/

Song for Mr. Shtupper

Here’s to Mr. Shtupper, crossbow in his hand

No longer will he hunt deer

Nor longer till the land

He caught The Cove, began to wheeze

Before too long he could not breathe

His temp went up, his O2 down

And now he’s down beneath the ground

It can’t be blamed on his bad luck

No, he was just a stupid fuck

For us, it’s just another day

For him, there’s nothing more to say

The Nostril Less Taken

(With apologies to Robert Frost, and none to Lurid Looney)

Two nostrils diverged in an alien face,

And I was curious as to both

Of inquiring mind, there I stood

And looked up one as far as I could

To its terminus at the base of her brain;

Then looked up the other, lined with green goo,

And having perhaps a differing view,

Because it was plugged, in want of tissue;

Though as in want of sneezing spew

They looked to me about the same.

What shall she become in ages hence?

Shall she continue to hate Mike Pence?

And be inseminated by Roger Stone

To bear his demon spawn alone?

Shall she assist in crimes a-heinous?

As press secretary of the Orange Anus?

Shall her chin and her cheekbones

Be recycled into Legos?

Two nostrils diverged in an alien face , and I—

I looked up the one less mucus-y,

And that has made no difference.

LURID LOONEY PLEASE GET OUT

Lurid Looney, please get out

I’m tired of looking up your snout

I don’t care if you can’t taste food

Or that your head is made of wood

Eyebrows drawn with Sharpie pen

Must never spoil my lunch again

Nor evil pout, like MAGAt trout

Lurid Looney, please get out!

Tell Laura I love Her

Laura and Abdul were lovers

He wanted to give her everything

Camos, rifles, and most of all, a wedding ring

He saw a sign for a golf contest

At the nearest Trump golf shithole

He couldn't get Laura on the phone, to wit:

She was on her iPad, posting shit

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura and Karl Rove

To get the shot, and not the Cove

He toots his car to the golfing grounds

He was the fattest MAGAt there

And the crowed roared as they started to swing

Down the fairway they drove with a deadly fling

No one knows what made him die

If flying ketchup got in his eye

But as they pulled him from Ivanka’s grave

With his dying breath, they heard him say

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to moan

Though I’ll roast in hell with Roger Stone

On social media where Laura complains

’Bout Abdul who done passed away

It was just for Trump he lived and died

Alone at Log O Mierda she can hear him cry

Tell Laura I love her, tell Laura I need her

Tell Laura not to wait

That orange tub of goo will meet his fate

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I love her

Tell Laura I love her

GROWING SEASON 2

Ball cap, covid neck, immunosuppressed

Cootie catcher goatee, you know the rest

With all those comorbidities, he didn’t stand a chance

Now he’s an endless salad bar for worms and little ants

Self immolation has become an art

If they do themselves in, couldn’t say I give a fart

More O2 for me, and less wasted on you

As another swing state turns a little more blue

Growing Season

In the land of eternal snow

Lived a man who Covid laid low

Wouldn’t take him no shot

Then proceeded to rot

And only the worms did Grow

LANDO ELIJAH

Lando Elijah

What's it like where you’re reposing?

You are six feet under

And you’re slowly decomposing

Yes, you are

I guess you’ve detailed your last car

Worst move by far

Oh, it's what you did to you

Oh, it's what you did to you

Oh, it's what you did to you

Oh, it's what you did to you

What you did to you….

Dead Not Alive

It's fresh meat, only the names will change

Every day, it seems they’re wastin' away

Mostly red states, and their bodies are so cold

Posted stupid memes but now they’re not so bold

He’s a dipshit

On a hospital bed he died

And now he’s….dead not alive

Now he’s….dead not alive

Six Feet Under Sudbury

Zombies like to eat gray matter

In this guy’s case thar’s an empty platter

Dumbass should have had more sense

But he didn’t, so now he’s in the past tense

Please get the shot so you don’t go forth

like this foolish idjit from the great white North

YAKELY YAK

Just quit a-posting all those memes

I’m onto your Antiva schemes

If you had took one little shot

You wouldn’t be put underground to rot

Yakely yak (yer on crack)

She Finally FAFOed

Been wondering when this foolish one would meet her sorry fate

This will be a short one, cause I’m tired and it’s late

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehn and also sayonara

The worms convey their gratitude for your MAGAt marinara

Mandibular Pendejo

I’ve written my memorial poems

for MAGATs bad and worse

I’ve pointed out their foolish ways

with ridiculing verse

We’ve seen them all, and seen them fall

with thought processes weird

But till this day I’ve never done

A poem for a beard!

Mandibular pendejo ain’t the way to go

If you want to avoid triage

Safer by far to be shaven clean

and not grow a cootie garage

for the virus will say “Ooh, we like that!”

and inhabit your cootie habitat

Next thing you knows, your immune system went

and the cooties still live in your beard, without rent

So don’t be an idjit and don’t be an ass

And shave that face just as smooth as glass

Fonergoner

Pandemic and Covid comin'

Ain’t getting that vaccine, no

I hear ventilator hummin’'

One dead in Ohio

O2 is down now

Spike protein cutting us down

Let’s turn up his oxygen flow

What if you knew he was

Dumb as a box of rocks?

“Where’d my fuckin’ horse paste go?”

Na na-na-na, na-na na-na

Na na-na-na, na-na na

Na na-na-na, na-na na-na

Na na-na-na, na-na na

Saturation

I can't get O2 saturation

I can't get O2 saturation

'Cause I cough, and I cough, and I cough, and I cough

I can't get no, I can't get no

When I'm on my Farcebook

And my friends come on my feed

They’re telling me more and more

About some vaxxing information true

Supposed to keep me from turning blue

I can't get no, oh, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey

That's what I say

I can't get O2 saturation

I can't get no oxygenation

'Cause I cough, and I cough, and I cough, and I cough

I can't get no, I can't get no

Well I’m in my bullshit world

And I’m posting this and lyin’ bout that

And I’m tryin’ to make some girl

She says “Baby better come back, maybe next week,

I got Covid clots in both my feet”

Ree-deep (He croaked)

Angry Dick from the Florida Sticks

Angry white guy full of rage

Another meme, another page

Drink too much? Was mom craycray?

Was your brain just naturally made that way?

Spouse’s O2, downward rampin’

You thought it best to keep on campin’

Her face turned blue, her tongue turned red

Went into hospice and came out dead

Did you miss her? Probably

But you failed to connect points a and b:

If she got the shot, she’d still have life

And you’d not be looking for another wife

A Gaggle of Idiots

A gaggle of idiots gathered to pray

They badgered the Lord just to get their own way

Did it make any difference? I don’t think so

She’s still on the O2, highest rate flow

I never thought it would ever come to this

They take ivermectin, they drink their own piss

Don’t forget zinc and vitamins too

All that won’t stop the Cove from coming for you

My heart’s long been hardened, I no longer care

If they shit in the bed and they struggle for air

This may sound cruel, but I think it is true:

The world is a much saner place without you

Stick an American Fork in Her, Cause She is Done....

Laid low by a viral varmint

Though she wore her temple garment

Didn’t help her, not one bit

Stuck in a hospital, sick as shit

Near shuffled off her mortal coil

In spite of the anointing oil

Root cause of this awful mess?

She overdosed on LDS

Another Caustic Acrostic

Found out after effin around

After a necrofeline rebound

For life can turn to shit in a flash

Oh, your wife will be spending

Much Go Fraud Me cash

And you won’t know, cause yer

Gonna be below

An acrostic for you, Mr. Blue

Weekend at Bernie’s, Strapped to a Gurney

He looks like heck with a hole in his neck

But damn, he owned them lib’ruls!

Can barely talk, barely walk

But damn, he owned them lib’ruls!

Not much left but bones and skin

Bedsores to fit a dead cat in

Does he rue donning his hat of tin?

Hell no, he owned them lib’ruls!

I know I did a parody of Streets of Laredo not long ago, but I think that this Texas dolt is calling out for another one.

Streets of Jerusalem

As I walked out on the streets of Jerusalem

As I walked out in Jerusalem today

I spied a young idjit whose head was a-severed

Head was a-severed, he’d been there three days

“I see by your outfit that you are a ninja

And viral biologist, and a doctor to boot.

So who could defeat such a mightier life form? Who laid you to ground like a piece of horse poop?”

”Last I remember, I was in the dojo

dealing punches and kicks by the score.

The bike rack from hell started coming right at me

Next thing I knew, I was dead on the floor.

Then I woke up here, beaten and headless

I’ve had me three days for to give it some thought

Maybe I shouldn’t have been such a dumbass

Maybe I should have got that Fauci shot.”

Billy Was Not Special

He fantasized of dying within the holy city

Instead it was in Texas, it truly was a pity

There wouldn’t be a Herod, cruel as the Roman habit

Instead, the people rent their clothes and loudly cried “Hey Abbott!”

He didn’t go to heaven, and neither went to hell

He didn’t lie there for three days (we couldn’t have stood the smell)

He wasn’t separated from his corpus cavernosa

Nor noggin used for tenpins on the Via Dolorosa

But in his mind this would have been the greatest tragedy:

Billy wasn’t special, he was just like you and me

Billy The C

We remember Billy the C

And his Antivaxxer glee

Metal sharp things he would fight

Everybody Wing Chun tonight

He thought he knew where he’d be dead

Hasidim avoiding his severed head

He really bought that prophecy biz

But the Covid took him, and that’s all there is.:.,

Pareidolia

Little People of the forest, Sasquatches so furry

I try to take your portrait, but it always comes out blurry

So many times I’ve tried to show your visages of wonder

I never get a single thing but photographic blunder

I tried and tried and tried again, no ifs ands or buts

I guess you’re very camera shy, or possibly I’m nuts

Sam and the Sasquatch

That dubious day when she went to the woods

Sasquatch saw her and stared at the goods

Samantha did well to escape her fate

(She was lucky he wasn’t looking for a mate)

For he came to send her this telepathic thought:

”Go, ya dumbass, and get the damn shot”!

But she did not heed what Sasquatch had told her

Got sick, turned blue, kept getting colder

Now things aren’t the same in the woods tonight

Aliens search for her without re-spite

Now the little people mourn and Sasquatch is lazy

And the bats have all gone Samantha shit crazy

HCAman (Parody lyrics to the tune of Mr. Sandman)

HCAman, give us fresh meat

This one’s begun to smell like old dirty feet

Give us a MAGAt with some memes aplenty

One from a swing state would be heaven sent-y!

HCAman, give us fresh meat

Fat neck and covid beard would be really neat

With self delusion, mental masturbation

Maybe a clot or two and amp-u-tation

HCAman, give us fresh meat

The ones who thought The Cove was easily beat

The kind who makes our hearts to pump

And don’t forget that COMMENT JUMP

HCAman, give us fresh meat!

Poor Steve Nuttery

Poor Steve Nuttery

Brain smooth and buttery

How does your viral load grow?

With meme attacks and made up “facts”

And dead MAGAts all in a row

Steve Netherorifice

Steve Netherorifice

Looked like a poropoise

Except that a porpoise is smart

Lived in Kentucky

Got unlucky

Can’t say I give a fart

Now there’s one less Trumper

One less sheep humper

I’ll put it in simple terms

He’s now in a box

Under the rocks

Serving as food for the worms

So Nutty I Can’t Think Of A Proper Title

I see that you are dead and gone

Your friends have held your wake

Of all the dipshits I have seen

You surely take the cake

Believed in everything that’s wrong

Believed with all your might

That Elvis is alive on Mars

Believed that day is night

Aliens built the pyramids

and when they finished that

they gave a gift to Schroedinger,

a dually stated cat

That Bill Gates has it in for us

and everyone should know

He personally put nanobutts

Into our morning joe

I guess it turned out all for naught

when you get down to it

You fucked around and then found out

and now you’re dead as shit

Dep’ty Jones

In a bad place

Holes in your face

Dep’ty Jones you better watch your memes

Put some horsepaste

Up your behind

Take some ivermectin, you’ll feel fine

Improved and expanded version

Streets of ArLINGton

As I walked out in the streets of ArLINGton

As I walked out in ArLINGton one day

I spied a young sheriff all ravaged by Covid

With an adipose neck, and a goatee like hay

I said “Holy shit, now what has happened to you? You poor bastard, how did you end up this way?”

He said “They wouldn’t give me Ivermectin

though my family sued just to get our own way”

Those who loved him the most knew that his ass was toast

The poor fornicator just could not be saved

Now only Guv Abbott and the lone hopping rabbit

Trods o’er his bones and mourns at his grave

No more worldly toils nor essential oils

A light up his asshole will have no effect

Too late I do think for hydroxy and zinc

For he’s a dead MAGAt and his body’s a wreck

So beat the drum glumly as they start a Go Fund Me

Get six antivaxxers to carry his box

And divvy the loot as the worms eat his snoot

For he’s in the ground from that old Wuhan pox

Streets of ArLINGton

As I walked out in the streets of ArLINGton

As I walked out in ArLINGton one day

I spied a young sheriff all ravaged by Covid

With an adipose neck, and a goatee like hay

I said “Holy shit, now what has happened to him? How did the poor bastard end up this way?”

Someone said “They wouldn’t give him the ‘Mectin

though the family sued just to get their own way”

Those who loved him the most knew that his ass was toast

A maternal fornicator who could not be saved

Now only Guv Abbott and the occasional rabbit

Trods o’er his bones and mourns at his grave

A MAGAt of some small renown

Fucketh around and then found

that due to his blunder

he may be six feet under

with no necrofeline rebound

Ode To A Buckeye Magamoron

He has a dog whose name is Jim

That’s the only good I can say about him

Cardiac output is down a hair

He needs a stent or two in there

He meets all things with a meme and a pout

He fucked around, now he’s finding out

Ohio is turning a bit more blue

Come to think of it fucker, so are you

Lone Star Whack Job

Nurse Alu, who are you?

Related to Matty, Felipe, Jesus?

What happened to make your thoughts as loose

as diarrhea from a goose?

I know you’re very sad

But nobody murdered your dad

The doctors and nurses tried all they knew

to keep his face from turning blue

But in the end a covid clot

Caused his leg to get cold and rot

The eleventh hour, the nursing crew,

and the guy with the saw said “I saw you”

So let’s separate the wheat from chaff

And please don’t accuse the good hospital staff

Ballad of a Stubborn Missouri Mule

Mary Jennie the Dotard

Was a Trump supporting blowhard

But it’s Covid, for the win

Over Ernest Borgnine’s twin

Things got hairy

That’s when Mary

Left her mortal skin

Biting The Big Chimichanga

No one cares if you don’t get the vax

or take Ivermectin, shine a light up your ass,

post your memes, moan and whine,

or mainline Hydroxychloroquine

We’re indifferent to what happens to you nuts

But you’ll no longer vote, and that’s a great big plus.

Another Stubborn Idjit

She did MLM, and you might think it’s funny

For the uninformed, that stands for “Moms Losing Money”

She mocked that ol’ virus then at once it was on her

One look at her necks and I knew she was goner

She scammed and she grifted with some magic powder

(Fights Cove ‘bout as well as Manhattan clam chowder)

Now, do you eat it or smoke it like grass?

Or have a friend blow it afar up your ass?

Do you take it in summer or winter or fall

or snort it like Trump does with his adderall?

It’s a mystery, and I guess I must wonder

And Chris can’t answer…..

Cause she’s six feet under

Saturday Ruminations on A Nutbrain

Her thoughts are as twisted

as the arms of a squid

Did the vax kill her loved ones?

No, stupidity did

She still blames health workers

for her husband and mother

Must be Doc Fauci, and could be no other

Stubborn, hardheaded, defiantly bold

then one day in the morning they ended up cold

Three years of this bullshit has hardened my heart

Two less in a swing state seems a pretty good start

So what is the lesson from this antivax lout?

We should not eff around

lest we find out

FLORIDA MAN FAFOES BIGLY

Your story and carcass, beginning to rot,

are starting to smell like those fish that you caught

Six days at the top are sufficient for you

So begone, let your guts become putrified goo

Democracy’s stronger without your ass here

and the scaled and gilled critters live in less fear

You took on The Cove, but it wouldn’t be beat

So how ‘bout it, webmaster? We need some fresh meat!

Maybe somehow worms will feast on him, then those worms will be used to feed fish. It would be one of those touching circle of life moments.

THE TENNESSEE MAGAt

Bang the drum slowly

One more gone away

No more will this “pastor”

Lead his flock astray

Though you didn’t get it, I find it quite odd

that you twisted the words of the Lamb of God

You were hate filled and spiteful right to the finito

Now you’re under the soil, like a MAGAt burrito

Taren from McTurtleland

Just sit right back while I tell the story

of Taren from the Bluegrass state

Selling peg games, serving dumplings

Life was good till she met her fate

She agreed that the Cove was real

and that it could pulverize you

But she swallowed the line that the vax was bad

and a mask would put you in the ICU

She feared the effects, ten years from now

if she took the Fauci Ouchie

Now she’s food for bugs while I write bad rhymes

from my Caribbean couchy

So down at the Barrel of Crackers

The crackers spend their cash,

sit in rockers, and play checkers

And the cook still slings the hash

But gullible Taren knows none of this,

and can’t realize her blunder

Green grow the lilacs, blue grows the grass

with Taren six feet under

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Humpty Dumpty in Kentumpty

Humpty Dumpty had a neckbeard

Then one day he felt sickly and weird

Gridiron tactics couldn’t win James this battle

For the X‘s and O’s faded to a death rattle

Does he somewhere reflect on his football glory?

If a bass boat’s involved, it would complete the story

Soon he was under the soil six feet

But his wife quickly found her a new Humpty sweet

He Took One For The Team

Covid cootie catcher

Rolls of neckly fat

Might have worn a red hat too

But I’m not sure of that

Taught health but learned nothing

Covid took his life

Another guy who is his clone

Now plows his widowed wife

Delmar Dawn

Delmar Dawn, what’s that mask you ain’t got on

Could it be the kind that stops the Wuhan Flu?

It took your hubby Rob

That cheatin’ preachin’ knob

Look out, it may be comin’ for you too

Dear Ms. Biester

Dear Ms. Biester

Is kicking life’s Keister

She’s got her priorities right

Said “Now that Rob’s buried

it’s high time I’ve hurried

to find a new bear to hold tight”

Her former guy, Rob

was a goateed slob

who wielded the sword of the Lord

Thought he could beat it but soon was defeated, and

instead got his Herman Cain Award

Hardheaded Robert

Hardheaded Robert was stubborn as hell

”Ain’t gettin’ no shot, for my prayer serves me well!”

Was he testing The Lord? I’ll let you judge

Though he sure wasn’t helped by that beard and neck pudge

Now, he doesn’t seem to have been a bad sort

Not as hateful and mean as our usual cohort

When he sickened he could have gone straight to a pew

But instead coughed his way to the ol’ ICU

Where good doctors and nurses tried all that they could

But when O2 reached 80, they knew where he stood

They said “Dawn, we’re sorry, we’ve done all we can

so you‘d best start looking for another man”

So Dawn got jiggy with a brand new dude

And they placed dear Robert in a box made of wood

They they buried his carcass, in a Christian tradition

Now the worms look to Robert to get their nutrition

Larry Keller, Conspiracy Spreader

Larry Keller, conspiracy spreader

Maybe he’ll live, or maybe be deader

Than a doornail or that trout he caught

And when he’s gone, he’ll count for naught

For the Keystone State is turning blue

Poor Doug Masturbano won’t know what to do

He’ll try to turn things much much redder

Without Larry Keller, conspiracy spreader

Elegy for a Louisiana Native

Waylon made it his life’s mission

Of posting shit, and goin‘ fishin’

with faithful Wanda by his side

till Covid took his redneck hide At super speed, she buried him

And his replacement moved right in

With goatee, hat and his bass boat

There’s no more to write, so that’s all I wrote

Except that I thought she might be sadder

But she’s now climbing Jacob’s ladder.

Farewell Lisa

Farewell Lisa, woman of rancor

So deeply in love

with your own anger

Your time is done

Your spirit is free

I‘m sure someone will miss you

But it won’t be me

So Long Diamond

Can’t spread damaging disinformation

Nor engage in mental masturbation

Will you be haunted, wherever you’ve gone

by the people you lied to and caused so much harm?

Now there’s one less blabbing right wing hero

And my givafukometer is sitting on zero

TRIBUTE TO VAXXYLADY

Goodbye, Vaxxylady

Though I never knew you at all

You kindly gave to us

Lots of good fresh meat

They crawled from under rocks

And they sickened and some died

For want of a little shot

And we got out daily treat

And it seems to me you lived your life

Like a webstress in the wind

Never quite sure who to include

When the names came in

And I’d really like to thank you

For all you did

I guess you burned out long before

The epidemic did

Written from my home in exile…..

Dr. Gold and Her Lies

Simone’s been with us ten days

and smells like horseshit pie

That’s quite a great accomplishment

Considering she didn’t die

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Vaxxylady, we must have fresh meat!

I Don’t Give a Fick

She posted falsely lying memes

I hope no one believed it

“Vaccine bad, virus hoax”

Tried to make us see it

May her license be revoked

What kind of nonsense has she toked?

A “healer“ made the MAGAts sick

But I no longer give a Fick

Fritz The Dead Cat

Fritz sez “I’m tough”

But he was only faking it

Dead red in a swing state?

Hell yeah, we’re surely taking it!

From the frozen Northern boundary

To the shores of Mag a Lardo

They’re falling like the autumn leaves

The backdrop is a rainbow

A couple hundred every day

It all accrues, I’m sure

If MAGAtry is our disease

Then Covid is the cure

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Miss Conception 1980

Antivaxxer, political rifter

Angry nutbrain, High Plains Grifter

Beauty queen, way back when

Now you’re filtered, and filtered again

Harry got Cove and damn near died

And you vowed vengeance on Qeteb’s hide

For causing sickness with evil thought

Now, wouldn’t it be easier to just get the shot?

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The Significant Other

It was only four months after Eric passed away

His “significant other” let no moss grow under her va-jay-jay

Got married to another guy with facial hair and hat

Tossed Eric’s shit into the dumpster

And by golly, that was that.

I feel very badly for this family. The “significant other” behaved terribly. A family tragedy brings out the worst in some and the best in others.

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Joanne’s Nightmare

Joanne has this singular thought:

”Stick by your guns, don’t get the shot”

It’s the vaxxed, who are doing the dyin’

And it isn’t for the lack of trying

That evil Dr. Fauci hasn’t controlled your thoughts

With those pesky nanobots

They’ll take over yer brain in no time flat

You’ll turn into a Godless Democrat

And when they’re finished doing that

You’ll quickly morph into a Lesbian cat

Your skin will turn dark, then chillingly

You’ll turn in your guns, and willingly

Then when Mary Kay sees that your skin is black

She’ll make sure you don’t get that pink Cadillac

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Paula is Gone, And All I Got Was A Poorly And Hastily Composed Acrostic Poem

So around she effed

And out she found

Yes Paula had her

Big necrofeline rebound

Yikes, time‘s run out!

Ew, now she’s gone!

Pee on both her

And traitor Don

Underground she now feeds the worms

Like a habitat for bugs and other verms

And we’re still here to keep up the fight

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“Pastor” Greg

“Pastor“ Greg from Pigeon Forge

Seeks out rubes, his greed to gorge

He spreads around destructive lies

And only idjits heed him

I’m pretty sure that Satan’s rootin’

for this raving, hideous tool of Putin

Who causes pain and needless loss

And all the sorrow feeds him

I have a number of actual pastors in my family, all of whom are far, far better human beings than this sorry evil piece of human wreckage. That is why I put pastor in quotes. His religion bears the same relationship to the actual teachings of Christ that the WWE bears to Olympic wrestling. There are a few similarities, but it just ain’t.

Anyway, if you like my poetry (“Pastor” Greg won’), please hit the donate button to support this site.

BOUND FOR GLORY

Now, what can be said about Glory?

For one thing, her brain is a pity

For another, her pix have more filters

Than the water supply of a city

Prognosis is rough

To survive will be tough

With O2 and misting

Many medicines listing

Many a pill

Will be on her next bill

And who knows, by heck

a Glory hole in her neck?

Now, does she ever find

In her Antiva mind

Does she ever have thought

“Shoulda got me that shot”?

Does she ever admit

that she should have got it?

I doubt it, cause she is DUMBER THAN SHIT!

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FARTCUTTER

Rick Fartcutter spews Antiva memes

He posts them one and all

Fires bullshit like a howitzer

To stick it to the wall

Flat Earth, mask mirth, raise yer CO2

If any fool believed him

They’d not know what to do

The stupid and the gullible

Are dropping like dead flies

Each and every week now

A bunch of halfwits die

And I, who’s taken every vax

And stayed away from people

Chuckle and drink coffee

As I toast the croaking sheeple

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CHAD THE HARDHEAD

Chad, you’re a hardhead, through and through

and it’s hard to write a poem for you

Your stubbornness has cost you years

Over unnecessary vaccine fears

You’re just 38, yet over the hill

But it’s a free country, so do as you will

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Dianna

We’re all sane and you're so scary

Seeing commies everywhery

Every day your hatred stokes

for Jews and blacks and foreign folks

I can’t read your words of wit

‘cause you’re nutty as squirrel shit

Oh, please, go away, Dianna

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KOOKABABBLER

Kookababbler fell from the old dumb tree,

Merry merry queen of the tush is she.

Laugh, Kookababbler, laugh, Kookababbler,

Cray your life must be!

Kookababbler fell from the old dumb tree

Believing all the bullshit she can read

Stop, Kookababbler, Stop, Kookababbler

Please stop posting memes

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Halloween in Vermont

Now, Craftsbury Commons is a quiet town

But if you’re ever there you better look around

There’s UFOs and weirdos and a that ain’t all

There might even be a clone of Beatle Paul

But if you see one critter you would wish you’re gone

And the name of that critter is Transquatch John

Now it lives in a trailer just over the hill

With a smell like Steve Bannon in a paper mill

It’s got a visage that could frighten us

With a beard where you could hide a Greyhound Bus

Weighs prolly upwards of 325

He’ll be plenty of food to keep the worms alive

Now if you’re out some evening and see Transquatch John

Here’s some advice you should rely upon

Turn and git and go away

Run like the dickens and don’t delay

Cause if you don’t you’re in deep doo doo

Transquatch John is gonna capture you!

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Elegy For A Vermont Nutbrain

John Courchaine, you’re quite insane

with the usual antivax memes

But what sets you apart

Right from the start

Is ambitious political schemes

Now, whatever your gender

Or if you’re on a bender

Or you’re lacking in physical fitness

How you get your salary

Or if you are Mallory

It really ain’t none of my bidness

But please take advice

(I’m trying to be nice)

Seeing as you’re in a fragile state

Don’t go it alone

Pick up the phone

And get help before it’s too late

You’re not thinking clearly

Your issues abound

You feel there are aliens lurking around

I find that unlikely

And quite a bit weird

Though admittedly some might be hid in your beard

So get the shot, shave the beard, lose 80 pounds

And in five or six years

You may still be around.

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FRESH MEAT

Vaxman Vaxman, please be quick

Post an idjit who got sick

from The Cove so needlessly

and took no warnings, heedlessly

Only an early morning treat

Will satisfy our lust for ——-

FRESH MEAT!

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Texas Doodle

Rocky Gaitan lost his life

Lost it for no reason

Wouldn’t get the Covid shot

Though it was Covid season

Rocky Gaitan kept it up

Wouldn’t take the Pfizer

Now he’s six feet in the ground

Becoming fertilizer

Rocky Gaitan bought the lie

Heeded Candace Owens

If he’d heeded Dr. Fauch

No dirt would they be throwin

Rocky Gaitan was a MAGAt

right wing masturbator

Stuck a mask upon his face

Hooked to a ventilator

Rocky Gaitan was so foolish

brains of Texas red rocks

If he took one little shot

He‘s not be in a pine box

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If I Had Died at H.Scott’s Age

If I had died at H.Scott’s age

How much I would have missed!

At 45, climbed the Eiffel Tower

Held my wife and kissed

Our son was just a child back then

We watched him learn life’s lessons

I’ve seen him grow to be a man

And find his own profession

Flown aircraft over green green hills

Each time I got the notion

Dived face to snout with leathery sharks

In a Caribbean ocean

I’ve played guitar and sung my songs

For multitudes of people

Scott, if you knew the life I’ve had

You wouldn’t call me “sheeple”.

Forty years still by my side

as husband and my wife

If there’s a G-d he has seen fit

To give me a wonderful life

I write my life as if a novel

I savor every page

But it would lie on shelf, unread

If I died at H. Scott’s age

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Another Texas Idjit

Ol’ H. Scott was an antivax snot

A hater through and through

Hated libs and hated dems

And LGBTQ

His hate continued to grow and grow

Until he caught The Cove and so,

suddenly Texas was one more voter blue

For H. I have the coldest heart

and really do not give a fart

but for his son I’m feeling sad

For he’ll grow up without his dad

So look at the reward Scott got

for not getting a simple shot

Yes, ol’ H. Scott was an antivax snot

A hater through and through

Hated libs and hated dems

But now his days are through

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I have mixed feelings about doing a poem for Yolanda. She doesn’t seem so evil and hateful, like so many on this site are. She just seems very easily led. If she were in a room with a bunch of vaxxers for a short time, she’d probably become one. I have known some people like that, who have the thoughts and opinions of whoever talked to them ten minutes previously. Anyway, here goes…..

Flat Earth and Flat Head

A woman, flat earther Yolanda

Had a mind that was way up yonda

Her life was quite nice

Till she caught The Cove - twice!

And tiny bug gears she continued to ponda

Perhaps not my best work, but as I said, I am ambivalent about this one.

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Florida Man

Florida Man, world’s worst superhero

Has an IQ of Absolute Zero

As he found out when the Covid hit him

His superpower wasn’t his immune system

At 37, way too young

He breathed his last and he was done

So never pay heed to right wing hate

Or you too may suffer his horrible fate.

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Tippytoe

Damon Tippytoe in the land of DeSantis

Was 15 years in the cooler

It must have driven him over the edge,

he became a right wing drooler

Posted all the Antiva memes

We’ve seen them all before

About Fauci and Ouchies and magnetic people

And not to give in and be like the sheeple

Solitary must have gone to his head

But I won’t say more, mustn’t insult the dead.

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