All right, let's introduce science and marketing. From 1997, first heard about on This American Life: " 'The Most Unwanted Song' is a song created by artists Komar and Melamid and composer Dave Soldier in 1997. The song was designed to incorporate lyrical and musical elements that were annoying to most people, as determined by a public opinion survey. These elements included bagpipes, cowboy music, an opera singer rapping, and a children's choir that urged listeners to go shopping at Wal-Mart." See/hear at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gPuH1yeZ08. Actually, the Schoenbergian and Ivesian parts are kinda cool. The operatic soprano rapping C&W over tuba and bagpipes is quite another.

You not might know that this song is a triple threat of horribleness. First, this version. 'nuf ced. Second, the writer of the original French version was Jacques Brel. I really cannot abide ze French cabaret musique. Edit Piaf? Non, non, mille fois non. And third: the translation you hear here was by? Rod McKuen. If you feel the same way as I do about the Folk Scare of the 60s (h/t to Martin Mull), a fourth can be added: one of the early recordings of the song was by the Kingston Trio. Yes, awful from any angle.

How have we come to this point in the posts, and no one has mentioned "Sometimes When We Touch?" Argh, Gaaah, Halp, ad nauseam (with the emphasis on nauseous).